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crazyn1nj4's journal
You are viewing crazyn1nj4's journal
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Scraps  after a talk with Nam several days ago i couldnt help but to re-collect my thoughts from that little chat. i realize that i had forgotten to tell him more things. now, the shocking factor that i havent done much since leaving college is true. i am both very ashamed and disappointed. i didnt respond as well when he constantly threw harsh curve balls at me. the point is, what i should have added was that i dont know what i want beyond where i am now. that sounds alittle confusing.hrm..perhaps not. but besides that point its not just am i not motivated its also something else. something i cant quite explain in words. everyone one way or another will be here. i mean, this state of mind. its just HOW you handle it. ive been handling it rather poorly. the first thing is to change, right? for me, i thought it would be a snap especially once i headed to college. boy, was i wrong. (sigh)..i feel as though..i was born in the wrong time...i want to be a fighter in life and not so much as a lover, but we're not in a current battle between aliens out in outer space quite yet..anyway..*cough*..*cough*..i could very much enlist easily into the army but for what? to fight for a useless cause? mindless bloodshed?no. thats not right. i just dont see a purpose for me here. for the first time i actually fell into my deepest darkest part of my mind and i was severly depressed. i'm still very unhappy once night time comes around. sometimes i wish i could just lay back and watch the full moon glistens in the night sky. oh and before i end this post, i want to reply back to nam about what he said about me not pursuing a guy. so what!? you should know by now im not interested and not planning to be interested in dating or anything to do with relationships. if you didnt know that then now you know.: ) forgetting to mention one more thing. Nam, no matter how much you think you know about ppl you truly do not know anything. i dont even know me. how is that possible then you know who i am? the answer is simple. you dont.this can also apply to anyone else. that is all. Current mood:  for the moment, i am sad.
i had the most bizarre dream last night. unfortunately though by now its all fuzzy and now it doesnt make any sense. i can recall some...hrm.. ( my oddest dream ever..so far anyway ) wow..so that was my dream and now im off to go see Sin City. i'm still laughing hard from the fact zack's hair killed me..LOL.. ( that survey thingy )  one of the best characters in X-men....oh yea!! dark phoenix teh rox OMG..this is like the best Metal Gear Solid spoof..hehe... solid snake...he such a badass! yes, me....i am really pissed off and annoyed that my artwork looks like a little kid did it. i bet a monkey could draw and paint better than me -_- like that one that i uploaded..the two wolfs..its crapsville. Urgghhh!!!!!!! [edit]: okay okay im a bit harsh on myself. sigh..>_< yay another pic of a wolf!!!!! Current mood:  was annoyed....
i feel such a dork right now cuz i read that the spider-man 3 villian COULD be the black cat. its not 100% confirmed so its not official. i honestly i would like to see someone cool in there like Doc Ock, but alas..we already have seen him...electro, mysterio..they arent that great...: p oooo venom would be sweet XD!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111one mmmmm....i wonder who the villian could be...^_^ Current mood:  dorky.
Yay!! i uploaded something ive been working on..though its not that great. you can tell its crappy...also this only took me approximately most of the afternoon to work and make it pretty as possible..-_- and yes i do <3 them!! ^_^ [edit]..comments are indeed welcome. Current mood:  artistic.
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